Our PASS Card Experience, Part Six: The Most Important Financial Lesson My Parents Ever Taught Me. What's Yours?
This is a sponsored post written on behalf of American Express and the new PASS Card for teenagers. Our 17-year-old is using the card right now and I'm writing about our experiences. You can read Parts One, Two, and Three and Four and Five here.Debt.
Plenty of my friends struggle with it, but I'll be honest: It's a foreign concept to me. And I have my parents and my husband to thank for that.
Growing up, it was ingrained into my very soul that you never, EVER, EVER, EVER rack up debt of any kind on your credit card. I knew that when I had a credit card of my own, as soon as I began making my way down that slippery slope of sending in a check for the minimum payment on my credit card bill (as opposed to the full amount that was due), very, very bad things would happen. That one small act would almost certainly eventually lead to me losing my job, my house, my friends, my family, my looks, and even my life, all because I had caught what to my mind was the equivalent of modern-day leprosy:
CREDIT CARD DEBT.
Uh, thanks, Mom and Dad.
Consequently, I have never not paid my bill in full each month. Ever. If I don't have the money to buy it, guess what? I DON'T BUY IT! Whee, life is so easy!
I now realize that I was incredibly lucky to marry a man who not only felt the exact same way about credit card debt, he took it a step further- We should do everything in our power, he told me, to make sure that the only thing we are paying off is our home. Period. End of story.
With that said, we don't buy anything unless we can afford to buy it outright. And sometimes, living this way has been hard. At one point, it meant that my husband drove a 15-year-old, junker Tercel with no air conditioning for an entire year until we could save enough money to buy ourselves a used SUV that could fit our entire family inside. And the man is one of the most popular news reporters in town, so you can imagine the looks he got from other drivers when they realized who the man inside that dirty hooptie was.
So yes-- I've had to swallow my pride a few times to live debt-free, and my husband has, too. But I can tell you now that it is so worth it! Talking to my friends who are literally slaves to their debt, IT IS SO WORTH IT! We sleep peacefully every night, knowing that even if the worst happened and my husband lost his job, we could make ends meet on very little money. We wouldn't be comfortable and we'd have to give up some things we love, but we could make our mortgage payment and we could pay our bills and we could put food on the table, and we would have no massive debts hanging over our heads to worry about.
The moral of this story? The most important financial lesson I hope to teach my own children is simply to LIVE. DEBT. FREE. Pay off your credit card month to month. And if you can't afford it? Don't buy it! Save up your money until you have what you need to buy what you want.
Now I'd love to know the most important financial lesson your parents taught you, or-- and this is when it gets really interesting-- Which lesson do you wish they had taught you about your finances? Did you have to learn anything the hard way? Discuss!
Plenty of my friends struggle with it, but I'll be honest: It's a foreign concept to me. And I have my parents and my husband to thank for that.
Growing up, it was ingrained into my very soul that you never, EVER, EVER, EVER rack up debt of any kind on your credit card. I knew that when I had a credit card of my own, as soon as I began making my way down that slippery slope of sending in a check for the minimum payment on my credit card bill (as opposed to the full amount that was due), very, very bad things would happen. That one small act would almost certainly eventually lead to me losing my job, my house, my friends, my family, my looks, and even my life, all because I had caught what to my mind was the equivalent of modern-day leprosy:
CREDIT CARD DEBT.
Uh, thanks, Mom and Dad.
Consequently, I have never not paid my bill in full each month. Ever. If I don't have the money to buy it, guess what? I DON'T BUY IT! Whee, life is so easy!
I now realize that I was incredibly lucky to marry a man who not only felt the exact same way about credit card debt, he took it a step further- We should do everything in our power, he told me, to make sure that the only thing we are paying off is our home. Period. End of story.
With that said, we don't buy anything unless we can afford to buy it outright. And sometimes, living this way has been hard. At one point, it meant that my husband drove a 15-year-old, junker Tercel with no air conditioning for an entire year until we could save enough money to buy ourselves a used SUV that could fit our entire family inside. And the man is one of the most popular news reporters in town, so you can imagine the looks he got from other drivers when they realized who the man inside that dirty hooptie was.
So yes-- I've had to swallow my pride a few times to live debt-free, and my husband has, too. But I can tell you now that it is so worth it! Talking to my friends who are literally slaves to their debt, IT IS SO WORTH IT! We sleep peacefully every night, knowing that even if the worst happened and my husband lost his job, we could make ends meet on very little money. We wouldn't be comfortable and we'd have to give up some things we love, but we could make our mortgage payment and we could pay our bills and we could put food on the table, and we would have no massive debts hanging over our heads to worry about.
The moral of this story? The most important financial lesson I hope to teach my own children is simply to LIVE. DEBT. FREE. Pay off your credit card month to month. And if you can't afford it? Don't buy it! Save up your money until you have what you need to buy what you want.
Now I'd love to know the most important financial lesson your parents taught you, or-- and this is when it gets really interesting-- Which lesson do you wish they had taught you about your finances? Did you have to learn anything the hard way? Discuss!
Labels: PASS Card
15 Comments:
That exact same one. Don't live on credit. It's not worth it. Fortunately my husband feels the same way too.
i am 100% with you. 0 debt is awesome.
It didn't occur to me until well after I married how lucky I was that my husband felt about credit like I do. I can't even imagine the arguments we'd have if he was a big "charger."
What did you do about student loans? You paid off college all at once?
I went to a state school and qualified for a Hope scholarship. My parents paid for my expenses, because they could afford to do it.
My eldest stepdaughter is now doing the same thing. She qualifies for Hope and her parents- including me- are paying for the rest. She goes to a state school because it's what we can afford, and if she were paying for it herself, she would easily be able to cover expenses with a job in the summer and during the school year. It's not an extraordinary amount of money, although it does require some sacrifices on our part.
I don't believe you need an Ivy League or expensive private college degree to be successful, although if you can afford it, go for it!
Great advice. & kudos to AmEx for teaching kids financial literacy. How can HS curriculum not include basic finance & debt?
My parents were depression babies. They taught us conservative values: i.e. CONSERVE. They'd save for things & then not buy them.
More good financial advice: buy used cars. Let others eat the depreciation & then drive it into the ground.
Sadly my parents were terrible role models when it comes to money. Their motto -- need more? Make more!
While that has been great as a sales person. . . it is horrible financially.
I am now a Dave Ramsey guru with NO credit cards or car loans and almost out from under our STOOPID student loan.
At least I am teaching my own kids something different.
My parents, though I adore them and love them with all my heart, were terrible role models for finances. I had to learn the hard way. We never had extra money growing up and I always felt less than because of that. My parents couldn't afford to buy me the designer clothes I wanted-- those Gloria Vanderbuilt jeans and Izpd polos. But they never TALKED to us about money which I think was a HUGE mistake. They didn't want us to worry about it. When I got my first credit card I shopped when I couldn't afford it. It was the first time in my life I felt like I could have things. I racked up some debt, but not really that crazy. Luckily I paid it off and met my hubby who does not like to have debt, so we don't. But I still have A LOT of trouble with self deprivation. I still buy things when I shouldn't and even though we're not in debt, we don't really save any either.
Mary, my husband is constantly quoting Dave Ramsey, too- That's probably why he calls a car lease a "fleece!" Dave Ramsey is REALLY helping so many people I know live debt free and that's amazing. He's also the first person I interviewed when I moved to Nashville to be a TV reporter- and I had no idea who he was at the time!
Kelly, wow, thank you for sharing that comment because hopefully it will remind parents reading it how important it is for us to talk to our own kids about finances. I hadn't really thought about how I feel about debt until I started writing these posts, but when I did, I realized that living debt-free is SO ingrained into me that it's like breathing- and I absolutely have my parents to thank for that!
this is the same lesson I was taught growing up. In fact, I was taught that I did not need a credit card at all because, just like you said, if I couldn't afford to pay cash, then I didn't need it. My savings has always been my 'emergency' fund, and at the age of 33, I have still never had a credit card in my name. I was also blessed to marry a man who had no credit cards and felt the same way about them as I did.
Wow, Emily, kudos to you!
I use a credit card for gas, since I've been at the pump too many times, not gotten a receipt because it was out of paper, and had no pen on hand to write down the amount. I also use it for online purchases because of the chance for fraud. But that's pretty much it. Occasionally, we use the credit card if a bunch of bills are due during the same paycheck period, but we've never not paid it off at the end of the month.
And living this way isn't always easy- I've had to make plenty of mental adjustments about what I really need and don't need to be happy. But I realized early on that I'd much rather have peace over being able to pay my bills than constant worry in the back of my mind about debt.
Coming out of lurkdom to say that my father racked up huge debt paid the minimum. My mother was burdened after his death to pay it off. I never want my husband to deal with that. We have a mortgage that is affordable and credit cards are paid off every month.
Everyone should do the same. our mortgage will be paid off before we retire and that is a blessing.
Now that is a lesson learned the hard way. :( I'm so sorry you had to see your mom go through that, but at least you and your husband won't have to.
I have gone from one extreme to the other. Being HUGELY in debt, and clawing our way back out via Dave Ramsey's "rice & beans" approach. Now, no credit cards and only owe on the mortgage. Buying a used car with cash last year was a complete 180 to any of my previous car purchases. My kids hate our constant preaching about "that Dave guy", but I'm hoping at least some of it sticks!
Growing up my family never really talked about money. I had a single mom who didn't make a ton, but we lived very frugally. Simple little things that really add up - like drinks at dinner, desserts with a meal, candy from the gas station. When we went on trips we packed an ice chest. When we went to the zoo we packed a picnic lunch (and she made it out to be an adventure! WOW!! We get to picnic!) My mom packed my lunches vs. eating in the school cafeteria. We ate at home instead of eating out. If we went to the movies we didn't get food - going was a treat in and of itself. When we went on vacation we camped instead of staying in hotels.
Looking back I don't feel like I missed out on anything. And while I don't follow in my mother's footsteps in every way - I am and have always been debt free (except a mortgage).
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